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Detailed Example

TO: JUAN CLARK 
FROM: JANIS HOLMBERG

RE: CHAPTER 3
DATE: 10/5/03

FAX NUMBER: XXX-XXX-XXXX
TOTAL NO. OF PAGES: 6

Dear Juan:

As before, italicized type indicates your original and boldface indicates my suggested change; questions about words and phrases appear in Roman (plain) face. As before, I have not included minor changes such as punctuation, capitalization, and hyphenation, where I know the English standard and what makes for best readability. Note: I have purposely left off footnotes because in Word they’re electronically generated, which means that the line at the bottom of the page would appear with the corresponding footnote, and I don’t want to have to adjust the formatting every time to get back to flush left for the next point! [note to reader: Dr. Clark used WordPerfect 5.1]

Chapter 3

p. 1, fifth paragraph:

It is interesting how Raúl Castro, of acknowledged affiliation with the communist line at that time, also tried to disguise it, or deny it, when circumstances demanded that action.

Question: disclosing or disguising? 

p. 2, third paragraph:

“History Will Acquit Me”

Suggestion: Absolve rather than Acquit

p. 3, under A Messiah on Television, first paragraph, third and fourth sentences:

That quality enabled Castro to become the first Cuban revolutionary leader who reached power without significant political ties, starting from the bottom, going through military defeats and then victories. Fidel, as he was popularly called, projected an image of purity and unselfishness through his very skillfully calculated dialectics and the effectively directed propaganda upon his person in such a way that few could believe him capable of any wrongdoing.

That quality enabled Castro to become the first Cuban revolutionary leader who reached power without significant political ties, starting from the bottom, progressing from military defeats to military victories. Fidel, as he was popularly called, projected an image of purity and unselfishness through his very skillfully calculated dialectics and propaganda effectively directed toward him in such a way that few could believe him capable of any wrongdoing.

p. 3, under A Messiah on Television, fourth paragraph, first sentence:

In addition to the deliberate projection of a charismatic image by the Máximo líder, enhanced by the governmental propaganda, it must also be mentioned the highly emotional state coming from the grassroots levels that surrounded this process.

The deliberate projection of a charismatic image by the Maxima lider was enhanced by government propaganda as well as the grass roots fervor that surrounded this process.

third sentence: question: why the quotations around “did nothing to overthrow the Batista regime,”?

fourth sentence: question: what is the meaning of _still joined the “bandwagon” at the time of victory [Castro’s]?

p. 4, Main Tactics to Secure Power, second paragraph, first sentence:

The potential danger in the armed forces left by Batista was gradually dispelled by first dismissing the officers and then the troops.  

                        question: can you extrapolate on the danger? Were the armed forces unstable? would they mutiny?

third paragraph, first sentence: suggest _promoted_ rather than _prompted_

third [question in brackets] sentence:

Control of the economy was achieved gradually, exploiting the envy motivation. First was the attack only on the big entrepreneurs, in this way leaving open the hope to the small businesses that they would not be touched.

Control of the economy was achieved gradually, exploiting the envy motivation. [whose?]

fourth sentence:

First was the attack only on the big entrepreneurs, in this way leaving open the hope to the small businesses that they would not be touched.

At first only big entrepreneurs were attacked, leaving small business owners to hope that they would not be touched.

p. 4, Manipulation of the Civilian and Military Leadership, fourth sentence:

                        question: what is meant by _revolutionary civic leader_ ?

p. 7, sentence preceding n. 28:

Finally, in a poignant way, physician Ernesto (Che) Guevara replaced economist Felipe Pazos as director of the National Bank.

question: what is meant by _in a poignant way_?

p. 7, The Paredón and Revolutionary Terror:

A review of the tactics used by Castro to secure power would not be complete without mentioning revolutionary terror. This tactic was initially implemented with the massive application of the death penalty by firing squad, or as it was popularly called, the paredón (execution wall). Already during the guerrilla stage this was applied rather liberally against those who had committed flagrant crimes such as rape and treason.[1] But it was also applied as a lesson for a minor fault, showing cruelty and lack of compassion, and as a preview of what would come later. This was the case of the execution of a 17-year-old, only son of a poor peasant family, who had taken a can of condensed milk and three cigars from the backpack of a comrade. He was sentenced to death and executed with the direct approval of Castro, who made clear that the youth "had to be executed to give a lesson."[2] However, this penalty was never applied to captured army soldiers. Something quite different began to occur soon after the revolutionary takeover with many of the military and police personnel from the Batista regime who really or allegedly had committed "war crimes" or had tortured people.

The tactic of revolutionary terror was initially implemented with the massive application of the death penalty by firing squad, or as it was popularly called, the paredón (execution wall). Already during the guerrilla stage the death penalty was applied rather liberally against those who had committed flagrant crimes such as rape and treason.[3] But it was also applied as a lesson as a preview of what would come later. For example, a 17-year-old, the only son of a poor peasant family, had taken a can of condensed milk and three cigars from the backpack of a comrade. For this infraction the youth was sentenced to death and executed with the direct approval of Castro, who made clear that the boy "had to be executed to give a lesson."[4] However, this penalty was never applied to captured army soldiers. Something quite different [WHAT?] began to occur soon after the revolutionary takeover with many of the military and police personnel from the Batista regime who actually or allegedly had committed "war crimes" [HOW ARE YOU USING THIS PHRASE?] or had tortured people.

P. 8, N. 35:

     35 Father Chabebe strongly recalls the case of a tall, black lieutenant wearing light white clothes who died damning Fidel Castro. This case was one of those the press filmed.

question: was the press the official Cuban press? Such a case could exist anywhere.

p. 9, sentence preceding n. 37:

In several instances these executions were filmed, in one especially macabre case showing the brains blown out of a person who also faced death in a very valiant way.I suggest bringing the note up into the text and including a date for documentation:

Note 37:

37 This was the case of Colonel Cornelio Rojas, widely filmed and photographed. To make the scene worse, he was shot in the head, and the grisly vision of part of his skull blown away was shown in print as well as on film.

In several instances these executions were filmed, such as the macabre case of Colonel Cornelio Rojas, who was shot in the head in 19XX. Widely filmed and photographed in such publications and films as XX and XXX, especially grisly images showed part of the skull gone, the brains blown out of this Cuban officer who faced death in a valiant way.

p. 10, two sentences after n. 43 in text:

He said that there were strong moral, civic and ideological discrepancies between President Urrutia and himself, and that these were unsolvable.

He noted strong and irresolvable moral, civic and ideological discrepancies between President Urrutia and himself.

p. 12 sentence following n. 48:

Instead, the majority of its leaders yielded to Castro, probably for lack of ideological coherence and tactical or personal convenience. Nor was there a properly structured movement or party that could carry out the role of effective opposition. It is because of this that only isolated and ineffective individual action sprouted from the traditional political leadership in opposition to the arbitrary legal procedures and tactics progressively adopted by the regime. This was moving towards what appeared to be, at least, another personal dictatorship with populist flavor. It should also be pointed out the silence observed by the civic institutions that played a key role in the overthrow of Batista, at a moment that a greater danger to the country demanded a solid joint effort to prevent it.

Among the criticisms of Castro's government by prominent men, the one from the former president of the last true constitutional senate, Manuel Antonio de Varona[5] (an honest and unyielding fighter for democracy since the era of Machado's dictatorship), should be noted. Among his criticisms were the televised appearances of February and June 30, 1959, in which Varona presented his point of view and suggested that a date be determined for national elections.

Instead, the majority of DR leaders yielded to Castro, probably for lack of ideological coherence and tactical or personal convenience. Nor was there a properly structured movement or party that could carry out the role of effective opposition. Thus, only isolated and ineffective individual action sprouted from the traditional political leadership in opposition to the arbitrary legal procedures and tactics progressively adopted by the regime. The course of action was moving toward what appeared to be at least another personal dictatorship with populist flavor. The civic institutions that played a key role in the overthrow of Batista observed silence at a moment that a greater danger to the country demanded a solid joint effort to prevent it.

Among the prominent men who criticized Castro’s government was Manual Antonio de Varona, the former president of the last true constitutional senate. An honest and unyielding fighter for democracy since the era of Macado’s dictatorship, Varona presented his point of view on televised appearances in February and June 30, 1959, and suggested that a date be determined for national elections.

p. 13, sentence preceding n. 50 in text and following paragraph:

Along this line, Aureliano Sánchez Arango, leader of the AAA and one of the organizers of the Congreso por la Democracia y la Libertad that took place in Venezuela by the end of 1959, contributed to prevent a resolution of support for the Cuban Revolution, something that angered Castro.

It was mainly the press that raised its voice nationally, trying to alert the citizens to the perils that were approaching, and criticizing the totalitarian measures of the regime. This early lack of coordination and joint action from political leaders who had a certain degree of popular support and moral authority, in view of the evident violation of the democratic principles, turned out to be fatal for the development of a democratic opposition to Castro.

Along this line, Aureliano Sánchez Arango, leader of the AAA and one of the organizers of the Congreso por la Democracia y la Libertad that took place in Venezuela by the end of 1959, angered Castro by helping to block a resolution in support of the Cuban Revolution.

It was mainly the press that raised a nationwide attempt to alert Cuban citizens to the approaching perils, and criticized the totalitarian measures of the regime. This early lack of coordination and joint action in confronting this evident violation of democratic principles from political leaders who possessed a certain degree of popular support and moral authority turned out to be fatal to the development of a democratic opposition to Castro.

p. 13, First Dictatorial Tendencies: The Judicial Farce, second paragraph:

It set the trend of future arbitrary actions and the elimination of actual or potential enemies. In this case, Castro met with pilots of the Air Force in the city of Camagüey on his way to Havana, on January 4, shortly after Batista's flight. There, Castro told the pilots that they had no problems whatsoever. In spite of this, shortly afterwards, a total of 43 among the pilots, gunners and mechanics were charged with crimes including genocide, asking the death penalty for the pilots.

In a June 4 case that set the trend of future arbitrary actions and the elimination of actual or potential enemies, Castro met with Air Force pilots at the city of Camaguey on his way to Havana shortly after Batista’s flight. There, Castro told the pilots that they had no problems whatsoever. Shortly afterward, however, a total of 43 among the pilots, gunners, and mechanics were charged with crimes including genocide; and the death penalty was sought for the pilots.

n. 50:

50 When the Congress' rules were established it was agreed that Cuba's case could not be dealt with, regardless of some of the delegates' efforts -among them those of Salvador Allende- against this decision. Upon returning from Venezuela, Sánchez Arango was received violently in the airport

When the Congress’ rules were established it was agreed that Cuba’s case could not be dealt with, regardless of the efforts of delegates against this decision such as Salvador Allende. Upon returning from Venezuela, Sánchez Arango was received violently in the airport [describe what happened]

p. 14, sentence following n. 54

question: did the trial take place at the Santiago de Cuba Bar Association? what city?

p. 14, sentence following n. 55:

question: the mobs tried to intimidate?

p. 14, four sentences preceding n. 57:

But among them was Pedro Luis Díaz Lanz, the Air Force chief, who certainly had strong doubts about Castro's intentions by this time. Neither was new evidence brought in, nor were the accused present. It should be noted here, also, the courageous performance of defense lawyers Arístides D'Acosta and Carlos Peña Jústiz. The latter, with a pro-revolutionary performance record, had prophetic words referring to the Penal Code by which the pilots were being tried: "You can obey the law that you created in the Sierra, or take a sword and cut it in two and create a Napoleon in the Caribbean." He also denounced how the accused were already sentenced beforehand, even to death.

But among them was Pedro Luis Diaz Lanz, the Air Force chief who certainly had strong doubts about Castro’s intentions by this time. No new evidence was brought in, and the accused were not present. Defense lawyers Aristides D’Acosta and Carlos Peña Jústiz turned in courageous performances. Jústiz, who had a pro-revolutionary performance record, had prophetic words referring to the Penal Code by which the pilots were being tried. “You can obey the law that you created in the Sierra, or take a sword and cut it in two and create a Napoleon in the Caribbean.” He also denounced how the accused were already sentenced beforehand –even to death.

sentence following n. 58 in text:

question: can you identify the testimonies that state that Peña was murdered?

p. 14, n. 55: Can you provide the first name of Estévez, and the date of the interview?

p. 14, n. 57:

57This was known from a military radiogram sent by Castro from Cojímar, in Havana, that listed the sentences. It read: A military radiogram sent by Castro from Cojimar, in Havana, listed the sentences:

question: Due to strong pressures [public?]

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