GOOD ENGLISH IS GOOD BUSINESS
I never write "metropolis" for seven cents,
because I can get the same money for "city."
— Mark Twain
Problem: Explain Who, What, Where, Why, When, How
You need to introduce the situation, or setting, in the
first paragraph Identify the month and year and your
responsibilities for F-H at the time this incident
Our company was going to introduce a new alkaline
battery to the market in Sept. 1996, we had a tight
budget about RMB 50,000 on that since most of managers
thought it’s unprofitable product. I was promoted to
assistant manager one month ago and assigned to be
responsible for the introduction.
When your purchasing manager told you "we" could get a
display shelf, does that mean "we" the F-H company, or
"we" your department within F-H?
We mean F-H Company, we could get a shelf in the
supermarket to display our battery.
Was that RMB 10,000.00 a lot of money for FH, a big
chunk of the company's budget for marketing? Would
spending that money take away from something else in the
company? Show the implications by using that figure in a
In our company, alkaline battery is comparably
unimportant, since most batteries are for industry use,
and our main consumers are factories. The marketing
budget was divided into several places: exhibition and
inexpensive ads, besides donation for the supermarket.
Who constitutes "our group"? Give each one a name and
identify his/her position, so that we can refer to them
later in the essay if need be. When you met, how long
did the meeting take? Why was the two days before the
anniversary a deadline?
Our group is consisting of 3 sales
agents (Charley, Mike and Jane) and 2 marketing agents
(Rebecca and John) and 1 assistant (Judy) responsible
for promotion. One month before the launching, we met in
conference room to discuss the details, and
brainstorming. Since the anniversary is a chance for us
to get in there, (In china, the anniversary or ground
opening of the supermarket, suppliers always send a
flower basket or donate some money or goods for
advertising inside the supermarket. More consumers will
come in these days. ) so the two days before the
anniversary was a deadline. (If
this is not a good sample, maybe I can think more of
When you say, "Surely, in light of these considerations,
there was one way," did the others agree?
Yes, they agreed.
Who was the "we" that did the in-depth evaluation? Same
group of 3 and you?
Our group, Charley, Judy, John and I went there.
Don't understand what you mean when you say you "decided
to donate" –to whom? Are you using the word "donate" in
the sense of a gift, an understood bribe, or what? I'm
not sure how business is done in China.
When you tried to get everyone focused on areas of
common ground, how long did that take? How much time did
you spend? Did you convene the meeting? Is there a limit
to how long you and your associates had to meet to
discuss the problem?
It took half an hour to focused in the three hours
meeting I convened.
I brought two questions for consumer analysis:
“Who is buying us and using the products?” We defined
our potential consumers to students and housewife using
in Walkman and electrical toys.
What is the buying process? Distribution is crucial at
the evaluation stage of the buying process. Battery- the
lower involvement product should be readily available, a
comparable substitute may be chosen for convenience or
immediacy of need. So we need to have more places to
display but not necessary to have a big shelf. If every
small shop has our battery, people are willing to buy it
if they are in need, so we should also focus on those
places that small and not many competitors like famous
And my group agreed with the conclusion.
I like your 8-point numbered list, but I'm not sure how
it fits in the context of the learning team having to
resolve a problem.
I don’t want to put the list in the context, I wrote it
based on my work and marketing book.
During this period of exploring diverse markets, I
learned that a creative challenge requires tremendous
teamwork and interaction. By boosting morale and
strictly implementing the action plan, I led staffs in
my department to get everything done. None of us had
gone home before 9:00 at night during the month that
proceeded launching the new battery. Good communication
enabled us to wipe out bottlenecks and increase total
PROMPT: We all experience
"defining moments," significant events that can have
major impact on our lives. Briefly describe such an
event and how it affected you. (300-word limit)
The following is an edit to a second draft.
One of the most significant factors that has
shaped who I am today is my
decision to join XX Capital ,
a small venture capital firm, after finishing my
Bachelor’s degree in chemistry. That was back in 93, and
of the college
graduates went to private enterprises, let alone the
risky venture capital
industry( business ) .
Classmates and friends told me that it was a bad idea to
giving up guaranteed career progression in a state-owned
pharmaceutical company. But for me, it was a chance, a
challenge, and a choice. A chance to open my door to the
business world and to broaden my view well beyond
research. A challenge to survive and succeed in a
completely new environment. A choice to diverge from the
mainstream path and to fully develop and play out my
experience at XX
(has) inspired me to pursue my career goal
to start and manage my own biotech company.
interaction with entrepreneurs and venture capitalists ,
I have learned how to set ambitious goals for
an organization, attract financial support, build an
effective staff, and most importantly, produce results.
My experience at XX
(has given) gave me a
is so easy to get caught up in the excitement and
possibilities of starting a business that many people
aren’t well prepared. True entrepreneurs
understanding and profound business and
interpersonal skills ,
the combination that very few people possesses.
series of career choices
I have made, (To pursue this combination, I have
made series career choices), from a
research job at Ligand to a management position
experience at XX
instilled in me
the (an )
Rather than following the set rules, I am willing to
risk to find a better way. With this attitude, I left
my hometown and came to America. With this attitude, I
gave up a stable job to join a start-up compamy.
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