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GOOD ENGLISH IS GOOD BUSINESS

 Postgraduate Degree Essays

They that dally nicely with words may quickly make them wanton.
--William Shakespeare. Twelfth Night III, 1.

Post-graduate degree candidates must show specific knowledge of their field as well as what they can contribute to an institution’s reputation for academic rigor in the field’s R&D. Programs want to know “why you at this school in this study?” A good editor works with applicants to facilitate strategy; fit format to message; and develop, edit, and improve the flow of content.

The revised section below answers the prompt in a step-by-step and succinct way.

Original

 Revised

My short-term career goal is to continue to strengthen my technical knowledge in Cisco and Microsoft while I am in the doctoral program. I believe that, to be able to teach student information technology, one needs to posses the technical experience on the design and implementation of architecture, platform, scalability as well as knowledge on management skills, business strategy and direction. During this period, I will like to engage in research to improve communication technology and extend theoretical understanding of information utilization and generation. My long-term objective is to seek a teaching and research position in a research or academic institution after finishing PhD. I will like to have the opportunity to share my experience and knowledge with students and people who are as excited and focused as I am on the information technology. Through research, I will be able to contribute to the business world by identifying new challenges, providing perspectives and approach for senior management of business. The reputation of X in information technology is well recognized both in IT field and in business world. I believe that X is the best environment for me to achieve my goals while gaining knowledge and experience with the faculty and a diverse student body. The interdisciplinary emphasis of your program on computing and management, supplemented by the renowned research center, offers invaluable resources and opportunity for students to learn the multi-disciplinary aspects of IT and conduct innovative IT researches. My solid grasp of underlying computer technologies and management science theories will provide me the essential tools to substantially contribute to the doctoral study program. 264 words

While I am in the doctoral program my short-term goals are to continue to strengthen my technical knowledge in Cisco and Microsoft, and to engage in research to improve communication technology and extend the theoretical understanding of generating and utilizing information. After completing the PhD program, my long-term objective is to seek a teaching and research position in a research or academic institution where I can share my experience and knowledge with others excited about information technology and where I can research, identify, and provide new challenges, perspectives, and approaches to senior management. My business experience, my extensive working knowledge of hardware, software, and networking, and my exposure to various disciplines of management through the MBA program laid a sound foundation for my study toward a doctoral degree at X. In addition, my solid grasp of underlying computer technologies and management science theories will provide me the essential tools to substantially contribute to the doctoral study program at X, with its well-recognized reputation in both information technology and the business world. The interdisciplinary emphasis of your program on computing and management, supplemented by the renowned research center, offer invaluable resources and opportunity for students to learn the multi-disciplinary aspects of IT and to conduct innovative IT research that benefits students, faculty, and business alike. 214 words

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Graduate student at Florida International University
Miami, Florida

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